Apparently I’m an English Cunt

Do you see how close he was???

One of my own today. Sitting on a cement block by a no parking zone chillin’ with a friend. A man in a large blue van drove right up to park next to us. There were five free (not to mention legal) spots available but even if he desired to park illegally it wouldn’t necessarily have had to involve potentially hitting us with his vehicle. He drove in fairly quickly and waited for us to move which we were not inclined to do. My friend turned to him and said, “Seriously?!” He waved for us to move. We didn’t. He revved the engine. We didn’t budge. He inched closer. My friend yelled, “You can’t even park here!” He inched even closer. Sadly, he called our bluff, revved and drove in fast and we managed to jump out of the way in time (but not without my badass friend putting her cigarette out on his car.) She started yelling that she was going to call the police and he furiously got out of the car calling us (essentially) English cunts.

Piča! Piča! Angličany!

I happily turned and holla’d, “You know what? We understand everything, we’re not English [right language, wrong countries – don’t generalize!] We’re calling the police and you have big problems, motherfucker!”

Víš co? Rozumíme všechno, nejsme angličany, zavoláme policie a ty máš velky problemy, čuraku! Perhaps not my most eleoquent moment but call me “cunt”, you got me pissed.

We called the police, reported him only for illegal parking, gave them his license number and happily watched as his ass got ticketed.

This was clearly a gender-based attack. This man could easily have asked us nicely to move as he wanted to park illegally to save some money. Maybe we would’ve done it. But I just don’t buy that specifically choosing a spot where two women are sitting alone when there is significantly more space available, then essentially challenging them to a game of chicken and hurling vulgar and xenophobic comments at them, doesn’t stem from a place of misogyny.

I’m pissed off that I had to move but I’m on top of the world that he got inconvenienced by legal intervention to his assholicness. And yes, that’s a word now!

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